In the interim, he held a view, when lucid, of the law, grace and the word of God that was strikingly unique. Always peering in wonderment at the goodness and justice of God. I feel like I relate to him very strongly. Our common emotions, struggles with depression, and fatalism change how we look at the Bible, trust God, and feel His love.
This brings to light the struggles we have but I feel also, a concept. I personally do not hold entirely to the camp of Arminius or Calvin. I can say that I definitely lean in my heart one way and am checked in my head by another. I truly believe that, much as two people staring at a mountain from different sides, there are somethings they absolutely see with clarity but others are masked or incomplete. They argue with ferocious tenacity about the thing they see, unaware of their perspective of the same thing and that it maybe different from the other side and inevitably incomplete. I see, though, that the fatalist is worse served by Calvin and the indeterminate by Arminius, but in ether camp, one can be lead away into hopelessness, depression, and apathy (not to mention pride, self-righteousness...and hell), living in the saying of Job quoted in Job 34:9 "There is no profit in trying to please God." That is a statement, not only of hopelessness, but the abandonment of God he flirted with in his dire moments. I think that in some small amount this happened with him. It is, as I believe, the closer we draw to Christ we feel both that we want to choose Him but also take comfort in Him choosing us before we had the choice. When we fall we know there is forgiveness in the moment and before time itself existed.
Thankfully through the Lords work and Job's honest prayers and petitions to God, the Lord reveled Himself to Job. Job's response was right...in adversity, run to the light of God. The slanderer, our enemy the devil, desires for us to separate, to isolate ourselves, and wallow in our own pride or failings. That is why I really love the two hymns I combined of his here: The Shining Light, and The Light And Glory Of The Word. Cowper shows the hopelessness of our position under the Law, but the Light of God's word and Spirit, are a gift more precious than anything attainable on earth. They are truly "a light that gives to every age, it gives and borrows none." Run to God, lead by the light of His word and Spirit and He will be found.
you can listen to the song here: https://soundcloud.com/thedivisiontree/the-shining-light
The chords below are actual but can be played as bar cords or basic versions....don't get distraught by the sus and 9ths. Feel free to capo when you've figured out what key is comfortable to you.
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
Bb add9 D#maj9
Gm D#maj9
D#maj9
Gm7
D#maj9
Gm7