Just Give Up - Psalm 28

I often times think about the Christian life, salvation, and my life, trying to distill it down to it's most basic forms. I do this to try find a pin point; a place of motivation from my beginning to go to my end. It really involves being honest about myself and not trying to b.s. my way into an ever stipulated world where I feel better about myself, but a place where I cut the crap about where I am in order to move on. I think, it is important to strip away our excuses to get us down to the bedrock. We excuse ourselves with every identity label in the book. "I don't do that because I'm an introvert," "I avoid my neighbor because I'm busy," "I don't talk to that person because they have a habit of talking down to me," "I grumble about that person because they always 'look at me that way'," and on and on and on. In a society of ever increasing "identity culture" it's easy to forget our place before Christ and where we are and what we are commanded to do now that we are in Him. Now pretty much anyone who knows me and has had any discussion around this knows I am generally adamant about abandoning self reflection and introspection, but I don't really see this as the same. I look to see where I am excusing myself to elevate how I feel about myself for the express purpose of getting back to ground zero. I am full of pride, that is the root of all my sin, and that made me deserving of death. Others commend me to do that to find out the intricacies of myself; to find out more of myself or with the foolish thought that I have any ability to purge sin from my heart. It really ends, in my opinion, in a place where I am, whether directly or indirectly, feeding the root. That root is the extent of the power in my being, and it really just has the power to make death. Humility and Christian charity (love), is inherently outward focused. Even in 1 Peter 2, Peter even examples this perfectly in verse 21

...Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

Christ gave up Himself for us. Zacchaeus gave up his pride and status to see the Lord, and so did the blind man in Luke 18. It's quintessentially a letting go of ourselves to cry out for mercy to the Lord of all creation. It is an outright abandonment of ourselves to be near Him. All my excuses for my sin are just impediments to seeing Him. I would say that if we can't let go of ourselves, seeing our real state (our identity which is really that root of pride), to give Him all we have, we will never let go of "the sin that so easily besets us" to seek out others; to love them and serve them as Christ's example has shown us. What do we think "die to yourself daily" and "pick up your cross and follow me" means? The call of the Lord is always to do that. It is really, in my opinion, the distillation of the work of the Spirit: to call us to that by showing us the step above, and then empowering us to do that. It is like a force like gravity and we fight against it like a cartoon person hanging to a root on the side of a cliff. The call of the Lord is let go of the root of sin, and only with the power of the Spirit we can. We don't believe He will take care of us if we do....but the truth is He always does. So I'm left with the psalmists call:

1To you, Lord, I call;
you are my Rock,
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent,
I will be like those who go down to the pit.
2Hear my cry for mercy
as I call to you for help,
as I lift up my hands
toward your Most Holy Place.

Lord I need your mercy now more than I ever have. Give me the strength to abandon myself on my cross, and to love and serve You, Your people and those who don't know you. Help me by your Spirit, and remind me by the time I spend with your people and by the songs we sing of You.

In Christ,
paul




music for the week (as usual: no claim of being not "offensive" but it is really good):

With Your Greatest Fears Realized, You Will Not Be Comforted - Psalm 27

I've had a pretty lame week. Since Monday I've been wreaked with stress because, as I like to put it, my boss likes to pour stress over me like syrup over pancakes. It's a lot of cutting me off mid conversation with the number one technician running one of the departments. A verbal post-it note stapled to my forehead accompanied with an actual post-it note, or a folder, or a file. It really gets under my skin and I lose my cool. It usually is a petty request for detailed information that will take me an hour to track down for an update, and it won't be specific or it'll be wrong, or whatever. It's adding hours to my day for something that won't really bring comfort or really information. I know why he does this. He is getting crazy pressured and the stress is rolling down hill per-se. I'm really no different. I'm a terrible at not dumping on others. I try really hard not to but it happens. My lovely wife talked me off a cliff today. I mean, look at that! A whole week ruined by, if I'm being honest, one day. All the accusing, and lost packages; bad information, and unanswered emails, didn't amount to anything. I actually had a fairly relaxed week, work load wise. What was I afraid of? Losing my job? Being told I'm as worthless as I already think I am? I don't really know. Maybe it's a combination of those and more. I just couldn't hear anything else but that pent up torture. I couldn't declare with confidence that I really trusted the Lord. I wonder sometimes if David didn't declare what he did as a way to talk himself into what he knew. To have faith as C.S. Lewis described it; to hold on with his mind and reason, the things that his fickle heart sometimes gives up on.

1The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.

I don't think this is just brash confidence because he ends the psalm with:

14Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord

David, in times of trouble does his fair share of fearing. He also does his fair share of reminding himself and us to turn to the remedy of our fear. A confidence in a sovereign Lord that has our best interest at heart. Many times not the most fun, or effortless times, but the best ones for us. What would happen if all my worst fears were to be realized? What one hope would or could carry me? Everyone and everything in this world can tear me down with failure after every cutting insult. Only my Lord has taken those cutting, tearing and hurt upon Himself....and that, for my sake. Ultimate power, and ultimate love, for me. I turn and remember that love every time I enter His house. When I sing His praise, I am at piece. When I resound a response, only then I am set at peace.

4One thing I ask from the Lord,

this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the Lord

and to seek him in his temple.

in Christ,
paul





music for the week (as usual: no claim of being not "offensive" but it is really good):

Vindicated - Psalm 26

Vin·di·cate
verb
[past tense: vindicated; past participle: vindicated]
    clear (someone) of blame or suspicion.
    "hospital staff were vindicated by the inquest verdict"
    synonyms:    acquit, clear, absolve, exonerate;

This is probably one of my favorite double meaning words from the psalms that is then filtered by the gospel. David screams to the Lord to vindicate him, because he thinks he has not done anything wrong, and that could be right, often in David when it is concerned with outward actions to Saul. David was upright in his relationship with Saul and his pleas are to the only one who can show him right but we know something else from the new testament authors: no one is right before the Lord. When David says in Psalm 26 "Vindicate me Lord" and we look at the following sentences, they aren't true before the Lord. Like Psalm 130 says "if You Lord kept a record of sins, who could stand?" The answer is no one. So when we look at David's petition "vindicate me Lord" it becomes a plea to be made right. The definition pivots its weight, and to "clear someone of blame" means something totally different. But isn't that what Jesus is? The great vindicator? God remains the only one who can vindicate us but to do so becomes, not totally different, but totally deeper! Jesus is the one who makes us right before the Father. He IS the one who clears us of blame before the holy and just judge: himself. He makes this true in the eyes of the Father.

"1 Vindicate me, Lord [He has by His obedience and sacrifice],
[therefore] I have led a blameless life;
I have trusted in the Lord
and have not faltered.
2 Test me, Lord, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;
3 for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love
and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness."

Isn't that such wonderful news! Think of that as you sing. God has vindicated you, and not in a temporary way that depends on you but depends on Him. Praise Him!

in Christ,

paul



music for the week (as usual: no claim of being not "offensive" but it is really good):

They Look Like Strong Hands: Psalm 25

Over and over I run my own self into the ground. I try and hold my own ground. I trust that somehow, strength is inside me. It's like every time you swear you won't eat so much or [insert self control issue here] and you just end up doing that. I think "that porn site," "those cookies," "that shopping site/store," "my phone," "that couch," "that guitar," "that book," "those Netflix marathon"...those are just things. Inanimate objects, date, furniture. They can't hurt me, and they can't make me do anything I don't want to do. I just have to say "no" just like Nancy Reagan taught me to. That is totally true. Those things cannot do a thing to you and they cannot do a thing to me...that we don't want them to. But when the chips are down on the table, what do we do? We place our trust in ourselves, don't we? We think we can have strong bodies, strong minds, or strong hands and nothing or nobody can push us around!!! THAT, my friend was never the real problem. When the old testement and particularly the Psalms, talks about shame it means this: to be found to have placed your trust in something that failed you because it was not trustworthy.

Oh, and God forbid we ACTUALLY restrain. Say you say no to that extra helping; say you say no to those sweats that will for sure lead you to a minimum 5 hour Law and Order marathon. What then? How do you feel about that? What swells up within you? Your pride. The chief, numero uno, the big bad daddy that is at the root of all sin, and kicked off our fallen condition. You lay that beside the Cross. See Jesus in pain, and look that in the face. See what that puffy feeling feels like and that trust in yourself did. It should make you and me meek. Often enough, it does not, but when it does, truly does, it looks a little like this:

16Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.

17Relieve the troubles of my heart

and free me from my anguish.

18Look on my affliction and my distress

and take away all my sins.

20Guard my life and rescue me;

do not let me be put to shame,

for I take refuge in you.

21May [the] integrity [of Christ] and [His] uprightness protect me,

because my [fruitful] hope, Lord, is in You

If and when we place our trust in Him, we place it in the only thing in the whole of creation that is trust worthy to save us....Jesus. The one who was not of creation but what all creation is from. Sing to Him your thanksgiving because:

"...no one who hopes in you

will ever be put to shame"

in Christ,

paul

music for the week (as usual: no claim of being not "offensive"):

When They Really Get To Know You They'll Run: A Psalms Devotional Introduction

I'm fairly certain this will all be me rambling but I honestly think it will be a good way to process the Psalms as I go though them. I guess I ought to introduce myself. I am Paul. I currently lead worship, all be it intermittently, but I love it. I never thought that I would be in this place since I've been jaded for a long time about church music and the church's view of art but I picked up a used book for $0.99 on a whim about a half dozen years ago. This book by Erik Routely (Church Music and Theology, 1959) changed a lot of what I thought about church music and art. That coupled with some new music coming out of Seattle and Florida put out by label runners that I knew and trusted as well as musicians that were beyond excellent, softened this old band dude. I read as much as I can on the subject now. Once "our band could be your life" sat alone and tattered in my bag; now it rests next to roughed-up copy of "rhythms of grace." I still play with some guys on the weekend in an emo band but I have grown into a love of applying my theological training with my musical training into something the blesses the body of Christ.

Now, I have a pretty simple morning reading schedule. I read a Psalm and the few following it every morning during the week, and the next week I just shift it one Psalm down. Usually I just share my thoughts on it with the body I worship with but I thought it might be a good idea to share them out as a way to digest and apply what I'm reading....if someone else gets something out of it, GREAT! I'm a pretty eclectic guy so if suggestions of  music that I'm listening to are too out there or I soapbox a bit, wait a week and I'm sure something will change and I'll calm down.

Anyway, I will filter all of these Psalms though a Romans lens, and specifically chapters 6, 7, and 8. Trying to balance the emotional appeals of psalmists should always be tempered by good new testament theology lest we get the wrong idea. I've dropped a couple of examples before this. They will look a lot like those but I'm sure things will grow. Please feel free to comment (graciously please), and ask questions. I will do my best to respond.






Music of the week (as usual: I make no claim of this music not being "offensive"):